Sex with an ex partner can help people to move on

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Researchers say that people who slept with their former partner were less likely to be depressed and have been happier on a daily basis. It turns out that having sex with the former is not so emotionally damaging

A new study found that ‘sex with the former’ could be a good way to help you overcome the overwhelming relationship.

Researchers say that people who slept with their former partner were much less depressed and that they were much happier every day. A team at Wayne State University in Detroit, Michigan, says the results show that sleeping with a former partner can actually reduce psychological anxiety caused by interruptions, as well as allow people to reconcile themselves with a broken link, Sage Journal writes.

In order to produce a report published in Archives of Sexual Behavior, the team conducted two surveys.

In the first, researchers were invited by 113 participants who recently experienced a breakdown of the link.

Two months later respondents filled out a questionnaire in which they answered questions like: Did they try to have any physical contact with their ex-partner, how emotional they were with them, and how they felt at the end of each day.

In a second study, 372 participants answered the question how many times they tried to initiate sex with their ex-partner, how many times successfully and unsuccessfully, and feel whether they are still emotionally connected.

Most respondents said they had had a sexual relationship with their former partners, and two months later in a second study they said they did not feel emotionally connected with them.

Researcher dr. Stephanie Spielmann, psychology professor at Wayne State, said that people who most wanted to have sex with their former partners were the same ones who had the most problems with the continuation of their lives.

However, she added that after having sex with the former they were not stressed. In fact, the participants reported more positive feelings on a daily basis.

  • The fact that sex with a former partner is mostly promoted by those who have difficulty continuing their lives without a partner suggests that, instead, they should critically evaluate people’s motivations behind sex with their former ones – said Dr. Spielmann.

For further research, dr. Spielmann says he wants to analyze human feelings about interruptions over a long period of time.

This is not the first time that research has suggested that ‘sex with the former’ can not be as emotionally harmful as it once was believed to be.

A study from the University of Arizona, involving 137 recently divorced adults, revealed whether sex with a former partner after divorce helped people continue on or not, and respondents’ responses depended on whether they were reconciled to divorce.

People who had difficulty dealing with divorce felt better after having sex with their ex-partner, and those who did not have a problem with divorce normally proceeded as if nothing had changed.


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